By Asbury Park Press Staff Writer Jerry Carino -

T.J. Fearon paid a price for serving in the Vietnam War. He was poisoned by Agent Orange and came home with post-traumatic stress disorder.

“I’m not a hero,” the Navy man said, “but I did my job.”

He documented that job as part of the Veterans History Project at the Library of Congress, which has been collecting firsthand accounts of war since 2000. While providing his testimony a few years back, Fearon offhandedly told his interviewer, “This will be great for the Gold Stars.”

He was referring to the Gold Star families — relatives of service members killed in action. He would learn, to his shock and indignation, that those relatives were barred from participating. Congress had designated the project for veterans only.

This was a loophole that effectively ignored the stories of those who made the ultimate sacrifice.

“Talk about a hot poker in the eye,” Fearon said. “These are the biggest heroes of all. It just shows you, they’re not here so society kind of forgets them.”

So the old Navy man fought for them, and he won. He enlisted help from U.S. Rep. Chris Smith, R-New Jersey, and in November Congress passed the Gold Star Families Voices Act allowing relatives to take part in the project. [Smith's Gold Star Families Voice Act Signed into Law, November 29, 2016]

“These are important legacies for an entire nation,” Karen Lloyd, director of the Veterans History Project, told Gannett New Jersey via email. She called Fearon “a prime example of the volunteer and grass-roots spirit” that drives the project.

After serving as commander of Brick’s VFW for several years, the 70-year-old is living in Hunterdon County while a new home gets built in Brielle. He doesn’t want this to be about him, but rather his message: This Memorial Day, let’s resolve to speak up for the voices war silenced.

Too easily forgotten

Fearon’s track record with such causes is outstanding. He lobbied New Jersey to offer special license plates to Gold Star families. It happened. He sought to rename the Route 35 drawbridge Veterans of All Wars Memorial Bridge. It happened. He pushed for a New Jersey Gold Star Family Monument in Holmdel. It happened.

Each time, there were obstacles.

“For the Gold Star memorial, we had no corporate sponsors,” Fearon said. “Isn’t that sad? Really sharpening our pencil and people donating time and materials, I think it cost us $140,000.”

Even something as simple as putting up two signs on the Veterans of All Wars Memorial Bridge proved to be a hassle.

“Why is that?” Fearon said. “It’s almost as if because you can’t vote, we don’t think of you.”

Our war dead get one spot on the calendar, Memorial Day, and then most of society moves on.

A mother's anguish

For Marion Zilinski, every day is Memorial Day. In November it will be 12 years since her son Dennis was killed in Iraq. He was 23 years old and just a year removed from West Point.

In his memory, she runs the Lt. Dennis W. Zilinski II Memorial Fund, which supports a wide range of military-related charities.

“He was an incredible young man,” said Marion, who lives in Howell. “He went to Iraq with the idea that he was going to fight for their freedom. He was so positive that they were going to make a difference.”

It pains her to see that vision unfulfilled.

“You wonder, is it really possible?” she said.

The anguish is palpable.

“Freedom isn’t free. It’s been bought and paid for by less than 1 percent of the population,” Zilinski said. “We don’t appreciate the sacrifice that these men and women are making.”

She knows Fearon well — “he’s amazing,” she said — and plans to participate in the Veterans History Project soon.

“It is so important for these stories to be told,” Zilinski said.

Those stories can enter the official record now, thanks to an old Navy man doing his job.

To participate in the Veterans History Project at the Library of Congress, or to help administer it as a volunteer, call 202-707-4916.

For more information on the Lt. Dennis W. Zilinski Memorial Fund, visit www.runwithdennis.org.

Carino’s Corner appears Mondays in the Asbury Park Press.


* This article originally ran on Page 1 in the Print Edition of the Asbury Park Press and can be found at:
http://www.app.com/story/news/military/veterans/2017/05/26/righting-wrong-gold-star-families/338564001/.